Forget Google Maps --
Google Naps is where it's at. Be right back while we catch some ZZZ's. This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Monday, March 31, 2014.
The Scuttlebutt TOP STORIES UN ON CLIMATE CHANGE: 'WE'RE SITTING DUCKS' "Global warming is driving humanity toward a whole new level of many risks, a United Nations scientific panel reports, warning that the wild climate ride has only just begun. 'Nobody on this planet is going to be untouched by the impacts of climate change,' Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change chairman Rajendra Pachauri said in a Monday news conference." [
AP]
DIPLOMACY AT ITS FINEST 
"U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry said Sunday night the United States and Russia agree on the need for a diplomatic solution for Ukraine but he stressed the Russian troop buildup along the border is not helpful." Yah think? [
AP]
MISSING PLANE SEARCH: BLACK BOX BATTERIES RUNNING OUT "Authorities calculate that they have six days, or thereabouts, to find the black boxes. That could mark a turning point in the search effort, they say, which would become immensely more difficult." Hopes from this weekend's developments were dashed as recently discovered floating objects were found to be
fishing equipment. One of the flight attendants' husband has not been able to explain the tragedy
to his children. "I told them mummy's going to take a bit longer to come home this time, and I even promised them I'm going to bring her home." [
WSJ]
STATESIDE: Last Day for Obamacare Enrollment Today is the
last day to enroll for the Affordable Care Act. A wealthy heir who raped a three-year-old dodged jail time because the judge didn't think
he'd fare well in prison. Wow. The
Washington mudslide death toll continues to climb. A deadly shooting in Albuquerque has led to
violent protests. Corvette owners are transfixed by the extraction of eight of the classic cars
from a sinkhole. And this woman's Facebook post could
land her in jail.
In cutest-video-ever news, here's a bulldog puppy meeting a baby. INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Korean 'Saber Rattling' 
North Korea and South Korea exchanged
hundreds of rounds of fire near their disputed border. The Wall Street Journal looks into a disastorous
Kazakhstan
drilling project. Former Pakastani president Pervez Musharraf
pleaded not guilty to five counts of treason. And the UN told Japan that it had to
cease its annual whale hunt. Swim on,
Free Willy.
In awesome faces news, here's a baby tasting salt and vinegar chips for the first time BUY! SELL! BUY! Free McDonalds Coffee McDonalds is offering
free cups of coffee to combat Taco Bell's new breakfast menu. A Supreme Court case could change the way
computer software is patented. Josh Elliott of "Good Morning America" is heading to NBC sports
after a contract dispute. "The Big Short" and "Liar's Poker" author Michael Lewis declared the
stock market "rigged" in his new book about high-speed trading. And in case you missed it this weekend, the
iPhone 6 is projected to hit the shelves in September.
In relaxation news, here's a cat enjoying his hammock. SCOUTING REPORT: Pass us the peanuts and Cracker Jacks: it's
opening day! This soccer player
saved his opponent's life on the field. A Gainesville television station
recreates March Maddness highlights to avoid breaking NCAA restrictions. Grantland tackles the
Kevin Love question. And the
Final Four is set. Is your bracket is busted? Ours is way past the point of no return.
In science news, here's water freezing and boiling in quick succession. CULTURE CATCH-UP: 'Frozen' Enters Record Books 
The return of "Harry Potter" will be in trilogy-form; we cannot wait to freebase J.K. Rowling's next batch of
literary crack. We're all dying to see
Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence together again, but until "Serena" comes out, promotional pictures from the Oscar-bait movie will have to do. Suit up -- the "How I Met Your Mother"
series finale airs tonight. Money flooded in for
"Noah" this weekend (har har har). And people just aren't letting go -- "Frozen" is the
highest grossing animated movie of all time.
In grandpa news, here's a guy explaining "wingmanning" to his grandfather. LIVIN': Google Naps This erratic weather completely messes with your wardrobe. Here are a few ways to rock
transitionally appropriate outfits. Google has a parody site that
shows you where to nap. Here's each state's
coolest invention. The
average cost of a wedding has risen to $30,000. Better start saving now. And wanna look cute on Sunday? Here's something other than leggings to
rock at brunch.
In wipeout news, here's a pug not sticking a landing. OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: BABY GEORGE!!! 
Britain's royal family released a new
portrait of Prince George and his obscenely photogenic family. Kaley Cuoco
got a dramtic haircut. Someone spent $25,000 to try to
look like Jennifer Lawrence. VH1 looked into the fabulous life of the most fabulous couple:
Beyonce and Jay-Z. And
Ke$ha looks great in her first red carpet appearance since rehab.
In guardcat news, this dog is terrified of his cat friend. TWITTERATI @
Miles_Teller: So I'm watching naked and afraid uncensored and they're still not very naked wtf? Twitter facts don't count as uncensored discovery channel
@
RobLowe: "@NormanGoldenll: @RobLowe How many years sober Rob??!" 24 on May 10. God willing.
@
ModelToySoldier: My OCD would've had that apartment set up, furnished, and clean by Day 2. I don't do unstable clutter. #LindsayonOWN
@
petewentz: Cats kind of have heart shaped faces sometimes, huh.
@
MrsSOsbourne: So depressed True Detective is over!
ONE MORE THING This is what the world would look like
without lights.
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